Please use this blog to help us remember Joshua Lee Anderson, who made the tragic and fatal decision to take his life on Wednesday, March 18, 2009. Please post any memories or thoughts you may have in the comments.

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Merry Christmas Josh - December 25, 2010

Christmas letter to my deceased son....

Good morning Josh - Merry Christmas! We are here with family and I can't help thinking about where you'd be or what you'd be doing if here. Would you be sleeping on the window seat in your Big Boppa's office or with Tyler and Emily in the other home? And at dinner last night, would you have been at the TV tray or at the table because you are bigger?

Gillian got out the stockings to bring with us. I can't remember yours - I wish I could. Your picture is on the tree - so sad. But I am glad it is there.

I'm sorry you are not here with us.
I am sorry I wasn't there for you.
I am sorry that I didn't do enough for you.
I am sorry that your solution was self-destruction.

I miss you.
I love you.

Mom xxoo

God Bless

1 comment:

Roxanne said...

On Christmas day after we opened our gifts as a family my heart was saddened. I remember how Bryce would race to the phone to call Josh after he opened his gifts. He could not wait to share what he got and to hear what Josh opened up as well. If it was a new XBOX game that they could play live they would be on line playing together just as if they were in the same neighborhood. I have so many memories of watching Bryce smile as he was on the phone with Josh. I always knew how was on the other end listening to Bryce so excitedly talk .....I would hear the laughter and seem my son's smiling face and it would always be Joshie.

Last year was heartbreaking. For the first time in many years everyone was home on Christmas morning. This made Bryce so happy! I saw a smile on his face that I had not seen since Josh died. But then in just a few minutes he was sobbing in his room. You see his next thought he had was "I have to go call Josh" and for the first time in his life he could not do this. We all cried many tears together and talked about the Christmas Day phone calls.

Josh I am sure you are looking down on us all....thank you for your friendship with Bryce. He is lost without you. Life is not the same and it never will be. I am looking forward to the day we are reunited in heaven! I pray so hard to hear your laughter with Bryce once again.

Sue, you are in my heart each and everyday! All my love, Roxanne