A Bond That Cannot Be Broken

I've been meaning to share my thoughts and feelings about Josh with you all, but it's been so hard for me to think about and try to put into words. So many things remind me of him and he stars in my most cherished memories. I feel almost like a part of me is missing; like I don't really make sense in this world without him. I never felt out of place when Josh was around. I stuck to him like glue. I've never been more comfortable or felt more like myself than when I was with him. I spent a lot of time this past week scanning the pictures that we have of Josh into my computer, so that I will have them even when I am away from home. As I went through picture after picture, I couldn't help noticing how many were of just me and him. He really was my best friend. And even though we slowly grew apart in high school, I never had a stronger bond with anyone else. The bond that I shared with my brother cannot be broken by his death. It will live on as I remember the times that we shared in his short stay here and it will be made new when we meet each other again in heaven.

There are many songs that I've been listening to that help me through my grief, but the one that stands out the most is "There You'll Be" by Faith Hill. These lyrics ring particularly true in describing my feelings about my little brother:

"When I think back on these times
and the dreams we left behind,
I'll be glad 'cause I was blessed to get
to have you in my life.
When I look back on these days,
I look and see your face.
You were right there for me.

In my dreams I'll always see you soar above the sky.
In my heart there will always be a place for you
for all my life.
I'll keep a part of you with me.
And everywhere I am, there you'll be.
And everywhere I am, there you'll be."

"Heaven (Candlelight Mix)" by DJ Sammy & Yanou featuring Do



I love you, Josh. Forever and Always.



-Gillian