Please use this blog to help us remember Joshua Lee Anderson, who made the tragic and fatal decision to take his life on Wednesday, March 18, 2009. Please post any memories or thoughts you may have in the comments.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Happy Easter - Day 25

I am writing this as a note to Josh.
Happy Easter Josh. Dad, Lauren, Gillian, Rachael and I met Grandpa and Grandma at your grave site this morning. It was a beautiful day, but a little cold. A little later, Roxanne and Jade visited you too. Here are some pictures taken from today.

Rachael found another chili pepper wind chime to put on the tree. Now there are four wind chimes that have been put in the tree especially for you. They sound really nice together when the wind blows. There is also a South Lakes lanyard with a football that was put there by Coach Huber.

We put a lot of flower petals on your site. Grandma brought an Easter Lily. Roxanne and Jade put red flower petals down so that with everything together, it looks like a beautiful flower quilt.

Josh - I have been praying for a sign from you that everything is okay. Others have been praying this as well. Today - I think you gave us this sign. Below is a picture I took today. Lauren and Rachael were watching a random football movie on TV and I asked Lauren to stop the movie so that we could all say "hi" to Grandpa and Grandma. When we got into the family room, your sister told me, "Mom, look at the TV." Grandma thought the girls were watching one of your game films, but it wasn't. One second earlier or later, we would not have seen this image on the TV. Your number, 33. Your color, blue. All of us who saw this, said or thought the same thing, "Josh is here with us." Thanks for giving this sign to all of us, but especially to me.

We miss you so much, it is painful at times. Here is something that Judy shared with me. One of her friends, Joan Stokes, had a terminal illness and passed away in May, 2008. She had time to prepare for her death and wrote something that was put on her prayer card. These words comfort me.

Death is nothing at all - I have only slipped away into the next room. Whatever we were to each other, that we are still. Call me by my old familiar name, speak to me in the easy way which you always used. Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes that we enjoyed together.

Play, smile, think of me, pray for me. Let my name be the household word that it always was. Let it be spoken without effort. Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same as it ever was: there is absolutely unbroken continuity. Why should I be out of your mind, because I am out of your sight? I am but waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just around the corner. All is well.

Nothing is past, nothing is lost. One brief moment and all will be as it was before - only better, infinitely happier and forever - we will all be one together with Christ.
God Bless Josh. We miss you and love you.


brian stout said...

I wanted to share with you photos of the tattoo I got in Josh's memory. The other name is that of my Latin teacher, who was also a very close friend of mine.

Don't feel like you have to publish this comment; I just felt like this was the best way to share with you the beautiful dedication to Josh on my leg.

I can take a picture with a camera as opposed to my phone if it is something you would like to put on the blog.

Love and Regards,

Anonymous said...

Dear Sue,

The picture on the TV was a sign for us all. I have been posting on here fairly regularly. I cried when I saw the picture of number 33 on TV. Thank you Lord is all I can say. Thank you for sharing. It is some relief...

With love from my heart to yours

Biggie-Z said...

I don't know any clearer sign. When I saw the picture and before I read the text, I thought it was one of Josh's game tapes too.


Thank you, Josh. We love you.

Tyler said...

that was definitely not a coincidence.

i was at the lake with jameson and daniel easter morning and i felt the breeze on my face and i knew it was you Josh - i am confident that you are with me every single day. i have your hammock picture on my desktop, so that i can see you, happy and smiling (or smirking) whenever i want...

i love you lil' bro - and i know you are now my guardian angel.

LEA said...

not only this football picture on the tv screen, but you really are with me every day. and I cherish your signs so so so much--please continue to send me them.

Friday night you were in my dream. You had come back to earth but only for a few days. We were all asking you why you could not stay longer--and you responded something along the lines of, "I just can't, I'd rather be flying." Anyways, for some reason you and I were partners in a rock climbing contest...and we definitely were having such a good time together, joking and laughing.

The next day (in real life) when Brittany, her boyfriend John and I were in the kitchen discussing what we should do, John mentioned sarcastically, "Let's go rock climbing!" You were there with us. Later that evening, mom, dad and I were watching ER and in the episode, children were rock climbing. You were there with us in our living room again. Also in one of the ER episodes we watched, Carter dedicated his new health center to his son, Joshua who was taken up to heaven at an early age. You really were telling us you were there in the room.

Please please continue to show me you are here with me. I definitely feel it but it is so reassuring when you MAKE SURE that I know. Thank you and I love you and think of you every second of every day.

Gillian said...

Wow. I was asleep for the #33 incident...that's crazy! You WOULD do something like that to let us all know that you were here. I only wish I could have been there for it.

Today I was eating a quick lunch in the dining hall and I overheard a conversation across the way. The girl said, "'s really weird. All the sunflower seeds they used to have here have been gone since the middle of last month!"
It made me think of you and how much you liked sunflower seeds. You better not be hoarding them all for yourself!

I find myself constantly reminded of you in everyday conversation and at first, I would just think about it quietly to myself because it was too hard to talk about, but now I talk about you whenever I think about you. People love to hear about you, Josh. All my friends at school wish they could have met you. They tell me that it sounds like you were a really cool guy. I tell them, you have no idea.

So many people are thinking about you everyday. I hope you can see how much you mean to all of us. Everyone loves you. You were so fun to be around and your smile was infectious. So many people want to get the shirt we made so that they can have a physical reminder of you to wear. I'll feel almost as cool as you when I wear it.

I love you so so much. Save me a good seat up there. Can't wait til I can see you again.

Lots of love,

Candace said...

Hello Sue, Tim, Tyler, Lauren, Jillian and Josh too because I know you are still with us.

I can not stop thinking about all of you. Every day my heart aches for you and I wish that I could take away what you have to go through. I lost my father to suicide almost 30 years ago. I still dream about my Dad almost every night. The horror and the pain are something that is indescribable along with the guilt and the "what ifs." I only know that some how some way life goes on. I don't know how it just does. It is never the same but life is still enriched every day by your relationship with your loved one. They are always with you and their memory is still alive. Even though my own children never met their grandfather they still all know about Maurie Valente! And you will each keep Josh so alive that he will be alive to you, your children and the people that you know and love. One of the things that helped me is that your memories of of recent days will fade. And your happy memories and the memories you have of your years of Josh being part of your life will overwhelm the sad memories of the past few weeks. Because most of your memories are of the incredible 16 years that you had with your beloved son THOSE will be the memories that will fill your minds the rest of your lives and not the most painful memories of recent past. It seems right now that this is inconceivable, but in time the horrific scenes that play in your mind will be replaced more often every day with the beautiful and special memories that you have shared with Josh. I wish this on no one not the worst of enemies and certainly not beautiful people like yourselves. We all wish and would trade anything to change the course of Josh's life so that he was still with us. But some how through all of this we must believe that he is at peace and in a better place than we can imagine and that he was spared and we are the ones left alone. Josh was a very sweet boy and though I knew him less than others I know how he touched my daughter Sienna's heart. Her heart is broken and she is not the same girl she was several weeks ago. She will never forget Josh or his memory. He must have made quite an impression on her. She is not one to fall for a person based on superficial qualities. And I don't mean fall in love but fall into deep friendship. There must have been something deeply impressive about Josh that captured her soul and she felt knit to his. She is hurting beyond belief and I am aware of her deep pain. She adored Josh and admired him deeply and looked up to him. Sienna is not easily moved so this is a testament to who Josh was a person and a soul. Maybe not everyone took the time to recognize this but she seemed to have in a very deep way. We both love you deeply and wish we could do something other than to love and support you. We are here for you. I know there is nothing to make it better only to hold you in our hearts in your pain. But know that we are holding you every minute and every day! Love, Candace and Sienna

Anonymous said...

I totally believe that was Josh there with us on Easter. As Eddie, Jade and Giselle and I were at the cemetary visiting with Josh when the #33 came on the screen. As we all have been asking I was begging God and Josh for a sign that day as well. As we were placing the red rose petels on the flower petel quilt that we had been working on all weekend the cold wind was blowing. I was amazed that the petels all stayed in place and as I looked up to heaven I felt the warm sunshine on my face and I knew God and Josh were listening. Jade and I sang a song to Josh and we prayed for comfort to come to Tim and Sue some way some how. These were only a few of many prayers I know but as I returned to the house and was told about the sign and looked at the TV myself, my heart skipped a beat! I felt that my personal prayers had been answered along with all the others! I felt that warm sunshine again on my face, in my heart and in my soul!

As I write these words I am certain the Josh is with us! I saw him in my dream as well...he was in heaven in the Bustin's Hammock playing with my dog chico. I felt so comforted by this dream. When I awoke I just wanted to say "Wait...wait...please don't end yet...let me go back there" It felt so peaceful and beautiful and his precious smile was on his face.

Yes, these are signs from our Joshie Boy. Thank you Josh...thank you....I love you so